Again, it has been a while.
But it has been a VERY worthwhile, well, while. I have made some wonderful discoveries which totally changed my view on certain things in life, and I actually believe that I have found something meaningful that I really would like explore.
It is too early to announce here what I actually have in mind, but my mind has been racing endless for quite a while now event since I got hooked with this wonderful project idea that I plan to endeavor. It is nothing much, just something humble that I’d like to do purely due to my love of sharing things that I love, but something which I hope will be able to provide substance to others who I hope will appreciate what I have to offer. Oh, there’s just so many things on my mind now, but a few friends whom I’ve shared the idea with have been wonderfully supportive – and sincere support from loved ones are exactly what I need in order to cross-out any doubts or lack of confidence that I have within me to go ahead with this lil thing that I wanna call Project X. Heh.
Which means I have so much to do now – thinking, strategizing, assessing, reassessing, meeting people, talking to people, explaining, selling ideas, decision making – you name it. I am at this very moment thankful of the fact that my current (real) job has seen me crossing countries and meeting strangers and being independent and making full use of my brain to get things done – and those are the very useful skills & experience that I am making full use now to start executing my Project X. Making small talks is another skill which I’ve acquired from years of meeting strangers and people of all sorts; and this too has been very helpful. I’ll be honest with you that I wasn’t really a friendly person if you knew me 10 years ago, not because I don’t enjoy having friends (I have always wanted to be that person who have zillions of friends, I wonder how some people do it – sometimes it seemed like quite a tiring process of having to maintain all these strings of friendships) – however I have this ‘weakness’ where I tend to overanalyze things and I’ll start thinking too much about how I am supposed to act or smile or talk whenever I have the yearn to get to know someone. And because I put too much thought into the whole ‘introduction’ process, I get stressed out, and I end up not enjoying the whole beauty of getting to know someone new. And so sometimes, I give up. And just stay within my own territory and ended up knowing less people that I should have; and lived up to the ‘sombong’ image that I have somehow portrayed unintentionally.
HOWEVER. I have overcome all that, I THINK I am a bit better at making new friends, meeting new people, being the first one to say hello and smiling more often to strangers – Alhamdulillah. And so that is exactly what I need to do for the next few months in preparations of Project X – to speak to more people, sharing ideas, and of course, pray that all goes well.
InsyaAllah I will share soon on what this whole Project X rambling is all about. In the meantime, I am going to enjoy myself getting stressed over details on how to get things done, and achieving that intent that I have in mind when I first thought of doing this. But of course, siapalah saya tanpa orang lain yang ikhlas memberi sokongan – and so herewith I humbly seek your support and doa agar insyaAllah segalanya akan berjalan seperti yang dirancang J
Mascara Xx
